Captain's Choice Read online

  Kerstin stared at her hands clasped tightly in her lap and shook her head like she was trying to shake something loose. “We have a more important issue to discuss. Trust.”

  “Probably the foundation of our problems. I feel you’re sending mixed signals. Your words are totally business, but your eyes say something else. In the locker room, you threw serious heat my way, and you seem jealous of Jen. I’m more than a little confused. I want to trust you, and I want you to trust me, but we have to be honest.”

  Kerstin’s eyes softened momentarily before a blink shuttered any emotion. “I’m talking about yesterday, Ben, about how you blindsided me with the committee.”

  Bennett jerked her head back. “Blindsided you?”

  Kerstin skirted around Bennett’s personal observations without even a grunt, much less a comment. Irritation rolled off her in waves as she said, “We reached an understanding about working together, but you basically called me incompetent in front of the others. Your remark about needing more changes before the builders came back cast the design and my assessment into question. And quite honestly, your comments seemed personal.”

  Bennett closed her mouth finally, struggling for an appropriate response. How had the topic changed from feelings to being accused of professional and personal attacks?

  “I should’ve known you’d do it again.” Kerstin grabbed her chest and turned away as if embarrassed by her words.

  “Do what again, Kerstin? I know you’re not talking about the past because it’s apparently off-limits.”

  Kerstin’s back was still to her. “I shouldn’t have…I don’t like being used or deceived.”

  “I’m sorry you feel I did either, now or in the past. It certainly wasn’t my intent, and if I made you look incompetent, I sincerely apologize.” She let her words sink in, and after several seconds of silence, Kerstin faced her again.

  When she spoke, her voice was calmer, her words more measured. “So what point were you trying to make with the committee?”

  “Only that we had other issues to address, and another walk-through would be a good idea before the workmen returned. Better planning now might prevent another work stoppage later. I was excited about sharing my needs list with you.” She reached for Kerstin’s hand but reconsidered and pulled back. “I was only thinking of the best possible outcome for both of us, professionally, but the accident happened before I could clarify. I’m really sorry I upset you.”

  Kerstin hung her head. “I’m afraid the committee left with an unfavorable impression.”

  “Then we rectify their impressions at our next meeting.”

  Kerstin regarded her cautiously and eventually nodded. “What do you suggest?” The spark returned to her eyes as she spread the substation plans across the conference table, any personal discussion effectively bypassed again.

  What choice did Bennett have but to go along? She placed two sheets of typed notes on one side of the drawings. “We sit down and really evaluate the possible changes. My list is pretty comprehensive, and with your knowledge of architecture, we come up with an idea of what can and can’t be changed and also how much of a cost difference we’re facing.”

  Kerstin took Bennett’s list and glanced back and forth to her plans. “This is interesting. We need a block of uninterrupted time. What works for you?”

  “Not right now, I’m afraid, too many details about the accident still need my attention. And I’d like to visit the family of the man who was killed.”

  “Consoling family members is part of your job?”

  “It’s the right thing. Why don’t you come by the family place around six? G-ma and Mama have ladies’ night at the police club, Dylan and Jazz are working evenings, and if Mama’s not cooking, Simon and Stephanie fend for themselves. We have an eight-foot table, perfect for your humongous drawings.” She pointed to the sheets of paper hanging over the small conference desk like a tablecloth.

  “Are you sure you can concentrate after your all-night vigil at the hospital?” Kerstin’s brow wrinkled, as she appeared to consider the pros and cons of the offer.

  “Totally.”

  “Okay.” She didn’t sound convinced.

  Kerstin made a few changes on the drawings, fully immersed in her work, until a subtle throat clearing cued her that Bennett had asked a question. “I’m sorry?”

  “I said, do you need a ride back to Proximity?”

  “Took your advice and rented a car. Made sense.”

  “Okay. I’ll see you later.”

  “Can I hang out here for a bit?”

  Bennett picked up her briefcase and started toward the door. “Sure, as long as you want. Jazz might pop in and out, but she’s mostly in the field. Let her know if you need anything.”

  Bennett stood beside her for several seconds, their closeness distracting. The smells of soap and shampoo wafted from her freshly showered body, and Kerstin leaned in for another whiff before backing away. “Thanks, but I shouldn’t be much longer.”

  “I look forward to this evening.”

  Bennett’s tone sounded hopeful, and Kerstin clarified the boundaries once again. “You understand we’re having a work meeting.”

  “Of course, but a girl has to eat. I’ll order in. Don’t worry.” Without waiting for a response, Bennett closed the door behind her.

  Once Bennett’s scent cleared from the room, Kerstin breathed more easily. Bennett had been patient and sensitive in her explanation of her intentions with the committee. Maybe Kerstin had overreacted to everything, especially Nurse Jen. What was that about? She certainly wasn’t jealous. And why did she accept Bennett’s invitation to her house? She was tempting fate.

  The huge Carlyle home would be empty except for the two of them, giving Bennett home-court advantage, physically, psychologically, and emotionally. Tonight was truly all about business, so why was she worried? Because Bennett’s magnetic personality won people over, and Kerstin had succumbed more than once to her charm. Was she strong enough to resist now? Did she even want to?

  She glanced at the program brief Bennett had prepared, which showed considerable thought and research. Did she still judge Bennett by her high school reputation as a cavalier, reckless teenager not to be taken seriously? Kerstin couldn’t imagine being judged by her immature, cowardly past. Maybe she’d give Bennett a break. If they talked about the past, perhaps they could resolve their trust issues, which apparently emerged unbidden.

  Kerstin spent the remainder of the day studying plans and walking through the substation site before dashing to the hotel to change clothes. She rifled through every outfit she’d packed before finally settling on jeans and a V-neck sweater, hoping for casual without sexy. As she approached the large Southern-style residence, her pulse soared, and she wanted to run. Her jeans were too tight and the sweater too low-cut and form-fitting. Why had she agreed to a private get-together with the only person who could totally shatter her control with a single smile or glance? She paused on the sidewalk, reconsidering, before the front door opened, and Bennett waved her in.

  “Having second thoughts?” Bennett stood aside as she entered.

  “Of course not.” But she couldn’t meet Bennett’s brown eyes. Instead, she took in the Carlyles’ warm, traditional decor, which had remained the same as long as she could remember.

  “G-ma and Mama are nothing if not consistent,” Bennett said as if reading her mind.

  “Not necessarily a bad thing.” She’d always gotten a sense of warmth and acceptance in their home. “It’s nice, comforting.”

  Bennett led the way down the hall to the kitchen at the back of the house. “Guess you don’t need a tour. The pizza is here, half meat-lovers, half ham and pineapple. Hope you still like the combo.” She finally turned to Kerstin, and her eyes painted a slow trail down her body. “Wow. You look…hot. Sorry. Am I allowed to comment on your level of hotness?”

  “Business, remember?”

  “Okay, but as G-ma would say, the truth is welcome i
n heaven.”

  Their eyes met, and heat oozed through Kerstin so slowly it was painful. She wanted to blame her sudden spike in temperature on the woodstove glowing in the corner but couldn’t deny the truth. Maybe they should have the talk tonight. She would present the facts calmly enough to convince Bennett the past really was past.

  “Pizza now before it gets cold?”

  Kerstin nodded and reached for a slice of ham and pineapple. She folded it and bit into the salty-sweet combination. “Mmm, I’d forgotten how good pizza tastes if done properly. We have so many places in New York I have trouble choosing. Where did you get this?”

  “Sticks and Stones on Walker Avenue, the best in town.”

  They ate in silence, Kerstin slowly savoring every bite of the delicious slices. Bennett tore off chunks and chomped with the same gusto she performed most tasks with. Bennett retrieved another drink from the fridge, and Kerstin stole a glance at the low-slung jeans hugging her hips and the stretchy T-shirt outlining her breasts. She ignored her guilt for saying one thing and thinking the opposite, but in an odd way she felt entitled to enjoy herself…and yes, with Bennett. The familiarity of the place and the woman somehow seemed right.

  “Shall we get started?” Bennett cleared the empty pizza box from the table and moved her drink to the side.

  Kerstin took a long pull from her Coke to cool her insides and focused on business. She rolled the drawings across the long table and placed Bennett’s list between them. “I’m impressed with your specs. You were very detailed, exactly what we should’ve had in the beginning.”

  “Thanks.” Bennett smiled and edged nearer. “But I was hoping we’d talk about us first.”

  Kerstin swallowed hard. The closer Bennett got, the more difficulty she had thinking, and if she did, her thoughts proved totally unproductive. “Oh. We should get business out of the way. You know, in case things go badly on the us front, at least we’ll get some work done.”

  “More stalling, Kerst?”

  The tension in Kerstin’s stomach said yes, but she didn’t have the courage to admit it. “Makes sense to work first.”

  Bennett moved to a leather chair in the corner and relaxed, stretching her legs out toward the woodstove. “Okay, let me know if you need me to clarify anything on my list.”

  Kerstin finally gathered a full breath and turned her attention to the drawings. She’d reviewed most of Bennett’s list this afternoon before leaving her office but still had a few more modifications. “This shouldn’t take long, and then we can talk.”

  Kerstin homed in on the minutiae of her plan, flagged the specifics Bennett listed with red ink, and left space for costs. She stopped on something she didn’t understand. “What did you mean here?” She pointed to an item on the list.

  “Hold on…a…second…” Bennett leaned forward in her chair, got halfway up, and slumped back, obviously exhausted.

  “Never mind. I’ll figure it out or ask you again tomorrow.”

  “Thank…s…” Bennett’s voice faded.

  Soon Kerstin was consumed by the work again, forgetting where she was or even the time. After she’d reviewed and marked all the items, she rolled her shoulders to release the tension and stretched her back. She glanced at her watch, surprised three hours had passed. She turned, momentarily startled by her surroundings, until she saw Bennett.

  She was asleep in the old leather chair beside the woodstove, her long legs stretched out, hands splayed across her abdomen, and her head tilted to the right as if she’d been watching Kerstin when she drifted off. The glow from the stove cast a soft sheen on Bennett’s face, highlighting wisps of brunette hair across her forehead and dark lashes resting against her cheeks. At rest, her features settled into a contented smile, lips slightly parted, dimples barely visible. She was so gorgeously innocent in the moment that Kerstin felt protective and something tender and deeper. She admired how hard Bennett worked and that she gave one hundred percent to the people who depended on her.

  She debated going to her, cupping her face, and kissing her until she’d purged all her suppressed feelings. She rehearsed again the words she should’ve said seventeen years ago, questioned waking Bennett to deliver them, but wasn’t sure she could be that vulnerable. In the end, she chose reason over emotion. What Bennett really needed was sleep, not a misguided attempt to correct past wrongs.

  Kerstin scribbled a note and placed it on the table.

  Thanks for the pizza, the huge work area, and the peace and quiet. ☺ See you in the morning at the site, 10:00 sharp.

  She knelt beside Bennett and whispered, “I’m sorry, my darling. Life wasn’t fair to either of us.” She lightly kissed Bennett’s lips, savoring the lingering salty flavor of pizza. One tiny taste of Bennett’s lips, and Kerstin desperately wanted more, but she forced herself to stop and crept out of the house.

  Chapter Eleven

  Bennett paced in the parking lot of the future Fairview Station next morning, working the kinks out of her back and legs from sleeping all night in a chair. She ached everywhere but felt mostly embarrassed she’d fallen asleep on Kerstin before their talk. To complicate matters, she’d dreamed Kerstin had kissed her and had woken up aroused. She paced faster, images of Kerstin hunched over Mama’s dining-room table and kissing her playing on a mental loop.

  “Careful or we’ll have to replace the asphalt.”

  Bennett looked up seconds before bumping into Kerstin. “What?”

  “You’re pacing a rut in the parking lot. Something wrong?”

  “I’m so sorry about last night. I haven’t fallen asleep with a beautiful woman in the room ever. I’m mortified and—”

  “You were exhausted, and I couldn’t bear to wake you. We’ll talk, soon.”

  “Promise?” She was uncomfortable about blurting without filtering but couldn’t stop. She really wanted Kerstin to set another date. “When?”

  “Soon. Would you please get the box from the backseat of my car?”

  Bennett didn’t move, surprised at Kerstin’s question, not at all responsive to her inquiry. It was evident no further explanation was forthcoming, so she pulled her hands out of her pockets and shuffled over to Kerstin’s vehicle. She’d hoped her honesty would spark the conversation they didn’t have last night, but Kerstin was business as usual. She retrieved the item as Kerstin unlocked the side door of the substation and waited for her. “What’s this?”

  Kerstin slid a large cardboard box into the center of the room and rested the smaller one on top. “A 3D model of Fairview Station.”

  “Like Legos?”

  “Sort of, but a more sophisticated version with all the internal bits. If I recall, you’re a more kinesthetic learner, a doer, so a model might help translate the drawings into reality.”

  Bennett flashed back to the two of them kneeling beside Kerstin’s bed developing a drainage system for the soccer field on a sheet of drafting paper. Bennett’s practical applications and Kerstin’s design won them both excellent grades on their senior project. The only part Bennett really enjoyed was working with Kerstin and getting to know her better, a lot better. Kerstin remembering something personal and positive about her, and going to the extra effort of providing the useful aid, filled Bennett with a type of joy she didn’t totally understand. She grinned and nodded, basking in the attention.

  She walked around the model, glancing between Kerstin’s drawings and the replica. She looked in through a window. “I wish I could see the inside better.”

  Kerstin edged her aside and gently removed the roof. “Your wish is my command.” She cleared her throat, and her cheeks turned a light shade of pink.

  “Don’t I wish? Sorry. You left yourself wide open.”

  “Can you focus, please? I marked all the changes you want inside with red ink. My next step is to calculate costs. You might have to compromise on some things.”

  “Like what?”

  “I’m not sure until I run the estimates, and then we can talk again.”
>
  Bennett studied the model, which made a lot more sense than the pen-and-paper version. The room dimensions and solid walls were clearly distinguishable from doors and windows. She easily saw what needed to be moved or added. “Thank you for this. It really does help.” She looked up, and Kerstin was staring at her mouth. “Please don’t look at me like that. Last night I dreamed you kissed me, and the expression on your face isn’t calming my libido.”

  Kerstin’s blue eyes darkened and she licked her lips. “Sorry.”

  “I did only dream you kissed me, right?” Kerstin started to say something, but Bennett’s phone interrupted her. She pulled it off her belt and groused at the caller. “Yeah. Carlyle.”

  “Ben, it’s Pete Ashton. Bad time?”

  Bennett straightened. “No sir, Chief. How can I help?”

  “I’m at Fairview Station and everything’s locked. Where are you?”

  “Come to the parking-lot side.” She hung up and turned to Kerstin. “He didn’t sound happy. You don’t have to stay. I’ll brief you later.”

  “Whatever the problem, we’ll face it together.” Kerstin touched Bennett’s arm like a physical connection was a natural thing and made eye contact, holding it until the space between them started to close. “Understand?”

  The flush of arousal assaulted Bennett’s senses and threw her heart rate into a climb. The only thing she understood at the moment was how much she wanted to hold and kiss Kerstin until everything else disappeared, but now was definitely not the time or the place. “Perfectly. I’ll be right back.”

  She sprinted to the entrance and unlocked the door. “What brings you to the field, Boss?”

  “Police business, of course.” Chief Ashton nodded to Kerstin. “Ms. Anthony.” Then he scanned the open space and shook his head. “I got a call from Chip Armstrong.”

  “And?” Bennett waited for the secondhand report from the manager’s lackey.

  “He said the builders hadn’t worked for a while, and from the looks of this place, I’d say he’s right. He also said you and Ms. Anthony were having, how did he put it, ‘fundamental differences.’ What’s happening, Ben?”